Kindy update

Ethan has been at Kindy for about 4 or 5 weeks now. For the first 2 or 3 weeks, he was fine. But then he started getting sad when Rob dropped him off, saying “I don’t want you to go, Daddy” and then saying he didn’t want to go to Kindy anymore. The first day it happened was a day that Devon happened to be sick, and Ethan was upset about Devon not being there. When I picked him up he told me that Devon wasn’t there and I asked him if he played with any of the other children. He said “no, I just lay on the bridge in the playground and cried because nobody was my friend.” Talk about heart-breaking!! I told him that he could make new friends by asking other children if he could play with them, but I know he hasn’t been doing that. He thinks he can only have one friend. At first I was really puzzled about that, because at preschool he is really popular and has lots of friends.
But then I started thinking about the differences between preschool and Kindy [he’s at preschool on Tues and Thurs mornings, and then he goes to Kindy on Mon, Tues & Thurs afternoons].

I think there are a few things that Ethan is finding difficult:
1. There are 45 kids at Kindy, all in one room. There are ~20 kids at preschool, separated into 2 buildings (under 3s and over 3’s).
2. The kids at Kindy are all 4. Kids at preschool range from 3 months to almost 5.
3. The lack of structure at Kindy. Preschool is much more structured and he knows the routine well.
4. The Kindy teachers are unfamiliar to Ethan. He has known his preschool teachers for much longer and has a close relationship with them.
5. Kindy is a new & different place. Preschool has been part of his life since he can remember, since he started there when he was 1.
6. Most of the children at Kindy are unfamiliar to Ethan. Almost all of his close preschool friends (about 6 of them) started at the same time as he did, in 2003. They have practically grown up together.

Having said that, he just loves the playground and all the toys and activities they have at Kindy. He is getting to know the teachers now, and feels more comfortable with them. Yesterday I had a big talk to one of the teachers (Lisa), and she said Ethan is doing really well. She said it is normal for most kids to take a few weeks/months to settle in … there is usually a “honeymoon period” where they are just so excited about coming, they don’t have time to get sad. But then the novelty of something new wears off, and they start to feel a bit overwhelmed. Lisa said she has been reading a book to Ethan or doing a puzzle with him when Rob drops him off, and he stops feeling sad after a couple of minutes. She has told him that he can always come and have a cuddle with her if he is feeling sad or lonely. I thought that was very sweet. She also talked about what a neat kid he is, and how he has a great sense of humour. I asked Lisa if Ethan plays with other kids when Devon is not there (which has been quite often, for various reasons) and she said he doesn’t yet, but she’s confident that he will start making new friends once he feels totally settled.

So I guess the main thing is that he is happy while he is there (after the first couple of minutes) and he is learning lots of things. I’m sure he’ll make more friends as time goes on, and in the meantime I am really grateful that he has a good friend like Devon.