Time for a change?

Well, I think I have the “back to work blues”. I know, I’ve only been back for 3 days, and I only have another 8 working days until our Hahei holiday, but I’m feeling a bit demotivated right now.

[I’m pretty sure nobody at my work reads my blog. Plenty of ex-coworkers who read it (Robyn, Ju, Tanya, Rachael, Lyndal, David …) but they will probably understand more than anybody how I’m feeling! So I can safely say what I want to say ...]

I love my job. I really do. I have NEVER woken up with that horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of having to go to work. And trust me, I know what that feels like. I had it EVERY SINGLE TIME I had to go and work at the supermarket. I worked there for 5 years. It wasn’t fun.
Anyway, I don’t dislike coming to work. I enjoy what I do, and I work for a good company. But right now I’m feeling a little disillusioned about things. I recently had my performance review and apparently (according to a friend who just moved departments, and had his PR before he left) I got the highest rating in my team. I should be happy with that, but I’m not. I need a new challenge. I need a change. There are plenty of vacancies in the company at the moment, but there’s a problem with that scenario. I currently have a really flexible working arrangement. I’m allowed to work from home every Friday (my 1/2 day) and I’m also allowed to do shorter days when I drop off/pick up Ethan from Kindy, as long as I make the time up later. That works briliantly for me. If I moved to another department, I would be unlikely to have that flexibility. Not until I had been there for a decent amount of time, gotten up to speed with the new job, and proven myself capable. I’ve been in my current job for almost 8 years, which is why I have the freedom I have right now.

There is glimmer of hope for me though. I’ve asked, and been given a very encouraging response (not 100% yes, but very encouraging all the same), about working from home fulltime. As in every day. As in no travelling to work … saving me 1 hour of driving time each day, and about $40 each week in petrol. Of course the standard childcare arrangements that we have now would have to continue. I would need the boys to be at daycare 2 days/week, for Rob to be home on Mondays, and for Mum to have them on Wednesdays. I couldn’t work 40h/week AND look after both boys all the time. I’m good, but I’m not that good ;-)

This wouldn’t happen until May, when Ethan starts school. But I’m hoping it will all go ahead, because it would make life SO much easier for me. I’d be able to be a “school mum” every day, not just once a week. I’d be able to drop him off and pick him up every day. I’d be able to go to the gym at the much more godly hour of 9am instead of the ungodly one of 6am. I’d be able to watch Dr Phil … okay, maybe not! But I’d be able to shuffle things around and get my work done inbetween everything else. If Ethan had a school trip, I’d be able to go.

A few years ago, I would never have considered doing this. I would have missed my friends too much, because I had lots of them. But right now I don’t have that many friends here at work. I have colleagues who I like a lot and get along well with, but nobody that I would call a “good friend”. Nobody I would miss so much that I would feel sad about not being here. My sister works here, and since I have lunch with her everyday I will miss her a LOT. But I do see her a fair bit outside of work so that’s not really an issue.

So until May, I have to stick it out here. It’s not bad, really. I’m sorry if I made it sound bad. It’s just time for a change. And working from home is (hopefully) going to be that change!